Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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