She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
