Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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