Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
