Dude my mom stole all your condoms
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize