Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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