You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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