you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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