when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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