Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
