so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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