just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize