I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
