She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you made out with another girl for some wings
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
