I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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