well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
