I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
