nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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