My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
