So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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