somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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