Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
