So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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