At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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