Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
