last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
