hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
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