Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
