I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just invented taco cereal.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
