I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
