Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
