My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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