Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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