break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
