if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
