We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
