Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I smell like Dick and happiness
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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