Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
