I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
