Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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