Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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