i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
