hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
