i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
