life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
