4 words: hood of his car
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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