me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
