Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
