Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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