maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Bring me that man meat
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
