tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
