That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
