Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
