he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
