Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
