The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
