More tranny stories later!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
