I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
