dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
