Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
