Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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