walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The air taste purple.
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