A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
