Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
