Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
zippers are such a cool invention
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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