the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
