I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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